Shia LaBeouf’s Penis to Star in New Film
Ever wanted to see Shia Laboeuf have sex? And we don’t just mean simulated rated R-rated most-likely-a-butt-double sex, we’re taking real, unsimulated and even, possibly titillating sex. Well now, thanks to Lars Von Trier’s latest upcoming cinematic exploits, you, dear viewer, will have that opportunity to see Shia in all his glory (provided you haven’t already seen the Sigur Rós video, in which he also appeared in the buff).
Laboeuf, clearly long removed from his days as a Disney Channel star, reported the news himself that the actors currently involved in eccentric director Von Trier’s next film, The Nymphomaniac, will be actually be sexually performing on screen. “There’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we’re doing it for real,” LaBeouf began telling to MTV News. ”And anything that is ‘illegal’ will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening.”
Laboeuf also made mention that he and his costars, noted Lars Von Trier vets like Nicole Kidman, Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, are prepared to do “whatever is asked” of them, including “illegal things.” Von Trier intends to shoot the film in censored and uncensored versions. The Nymphomaniac will be released in two parts, unlike Von Trier’s previous two-parter Melancholia, and is slated for a 2013 release date.
Which actor are you most surprised to see bearing all for The Nymphomaniac? Are you shocked to see a director ask this of the beloved Louis Steven from the Even Stevens? Are you excited for yet another boundary-pushing film from the warped mind of Lars Von Trier? Let us know in the Comments section below!